In order for a relationship to last, there has to be input from both parties. As the saying goes, it’s about “give and take”. One person can’t do all of the giving, just like one can’t do all of the taking and then expect to have a fulfilling relationship… either way, it won’t last. Even if the relationship manages to struggle through the years, one person is bound to be miserable. And who would want to be in a miserable relationship?
So, what do you bring to your relationship? Do you give as much as you take? More? Less? If you give, do you do so willingly? Or do you only begin to give once the subject is brought up, only to back off after a short period of time?
If you are reluctant to give as much as you expect in return, then you have a problem!
There has to be a reason why you are not willing to add your part into your relationship. Isn’t your partner worth it? If so, then why aren’t you willing to voluntarily give your part? It could be your subconscious letting you know you really aren’t invested in the relationship. It could be you don’t want to be alone and this relationship will do for the time being. It could be you see potential in your partner but it has yet to surface. Or it could be you simply don’t know how to give.
It is human nature for some people to be more giving than others. This doesn’t mean the ones who don’t give as freely are bad people. It means they just have to work harder to do something that comes naturally to many others.
How do you give more? Communication… ask your partner what they need from you. Having a goal to shoot for is always much easier than shooting blindly, and you know it will make your partner happy. Your partner will be able to give you some positive feedback and you can use this to set further goals.
If, however, you are not being “given to” by your partner, the same rule applies. Talk with your partner… tell them what you need and how they can give to you. Like you, they will do one of two things with the information. They will either consider the relationship worth the effort to make the necessary changes… or they will decide it isn’t worth the extra effort and use this as a reason to end the connection. Either way, it will give you what you need: a better relationship or the chance to move on.