Anyone who is in a committed relationship, or has ever been in one, will quickly tell you they take effort and work in order to keep them running reasonably smoothly. Even the perfect couple, with the perfectly matched personalities, likes and dislikes, still have to put quite a bit of effort into their relationship in order to maximize what they get out of it. Relationships are not made to run on autopilot.
A relationship is like a garden:
you initially plant the seeds (love),
you nurture them (doing little things for each other),
you pull out weeds (remove the influences that can be destructive),
you water it (showering the person with love and affection),
you protect it from predators (protecting your partner from things outside of the relationship),
you enjoy the harvest (having a long, fruitful relationship together).
How much work does a happy relationship take? Unfortunately, there is no clear answer. Since no two couples are alike, it is impossible to determine how much work it will take to keep your relationship fresh and alive.
The real question should be: how much are you willing to work at it? Some relationships seem to float by practically effortlessly, while others appear to be a constant almost losing battle just to keep each partner from “killing” the other partner. While it might not seem fair to those who are struggling, it all comes down to how much they want it.
It is so easy for humans to fail. We fail to quit smoking. We fail to lose weight. We fail to exercise. We fail to get ourselves organized. The list goes on and on…
But relationships are different. Unless there is a major issue involved, such as:
abuse,
neglect,
promiscuity, or such,
then most issues can be dealt with.
But before you invest the time and the effort into your relationship, you have to ask yourself if you are willing to do what is necessary. After all, there is a big difference in trying to do, and actually doing what is necessary.
If you truly love your partner, then you will be willing to do more than if you are just in a relationship with “someone”. Would it pain you to lose your partner? If not, then you aren’t going to be willing to put the effort in to building a happy relationship… and it is going to require effort.
You need to know exactly how you feel before you make this decision. Do you truly love your partner? It’s important to be honest with yourself here. They deserve it.