We often assume, to our own detriment, the person we are in a serious relationship with carries the same views and principles we value. Save yourself from disillusionment and heartache by obtaining the answer to these questions.
I in any case believe it is good practice to, once he asked you to marry him, live together for a period of at least six months. It gives both of you the opportunity to really get to know the others personal habits and find the opportune time to discuss sensitive topics.
Open, honest and sincere discussion of your dreams and desires, not only allows you get to know each other on a much deeper level, but is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.
The idea is not to conduct a Spanish Inquisition, but to discuss these premarital questions calmly and with consideration for your partner’s feelings. It will be to your benefit to determine these answers as this will give you both the opportunity to address issues that could cause future problems.
Is there anything about me or my actions you dislike?
This might be difficult for him to answer honestly, but it will give you a clear indication of the level of honesty he can share with you, how he approaches and discusses sensitive issues, as well as an opportunity for you to modify your behavior and tell him if he does anything that you dislike. This is not to be a mud-slinging contest and should be done in such a manner that afterwards, the both of you still have your integrity and dignity intact.
What about me drive you wild with desire?
This can be a very provocative question, and he may shy away from giving you the full answer, but will in most cases give you a keen idea of what he thinks about you and your relationship. Bear in mind that his answer is not to be exploited by you, but I for one enjoyed asking my man this question.
What would cause you to break up or divorce me?
This is a setting of boundaries conversation where you both determine the “walk-away” limits. Infidelity would probably rank the highest for most couples, but it certainly is not the only reasons people servers a relationship. Issues like lies, mind-numbing nagging, substance abuse and violence are equally valid reasons.
How do you feel about the female being the primary breadwinner of her family?
The role of women in today’s society has changed dramatically over the past couple of years, she has moved from being a home-executive to being the CEO of a major company, with amazing flair and success.
Although the analogy applies to the corporate environment you can apply it to most profession. Many are the women who earns significantly more than her spouse, be it that she is a famous actor, author, CEO of a highly successful company or millionaire internet marketer.
For generations men were expected to fulfill the role of both provider and protector of his family, and although most men realized that they have to work harder to keep up with today’s modern female, this is still a sensitive topic for most, and one you have to discuss with him, especially if you are passionate about your own lucrative career.
Children, Religion and Punishment
Couples mostly hail from vastly different backgrounds. If you envisage being the mother of his future children, then it is imperative that you determine whether he wants children, what his thoughts are about the religion they have to be exposed to and what method of punishment he would administer, should they misbehave.
You also need to share with him your thoughts and feelings about children, for it is not a given that because you’re a woman you should want any future children.