f you’re woman who is in a committed relationship with a man for a year or more, and you feel you are at the right stage, the pressure for getting engaged is probably well felt. You want to take the relationship up a notch and become engaged to the man you love, while he doesn’t feel it’s the right time and wants to think about it or has some other reason to justify his procrastination. So what can you do about that?
Well, for many women the term “engagement ultimatum” seems like the right thing to do in this situation. They feel that if their man doesn’t get a strong incentive to act and change his attitude towards the relationship, than things won’t change and they will lose another year or two, waiting for Mr. right to ask them to become Mr. and Mrs. Right.
But before you rush in, know that there is a major problem with slapping your man with an engagement ultimatum. An ultimatum is just a pretty word for a threat. When presenting him with this kind of threat you are in fact putting him on the spot and making it impossible for him to keep stalling. He has to “give you his answer” by a certain date.
This course of action has it’s advantages. It will most definitely pull even the most jaded guy out of this apathy and make him think hard about what he wants in life and weather he truly sees you as his future wife. Maybe he will even thank you deep down for helping him get over his fear of commitment and make some decisions about your joined future.
On the other hand, putting an ultimatum out there can have a devastating effect on your relationship. In other words, the guy may be offended by this act and the relationship may suffer or he will even tell you that he wants to break up with you.
So, what’s the correct way to handle a situation like this? Like in other situations, there is no right answer. Situations vary, and I can’t tell you what’s right for you.
As a first step, you want to take a look at your man’s personality. Does he get offended easily? Does he respond to strong demands or to soft talk?
The most important thing to remember is that if you post an ultimatum to someone you must be fully prepared to the possibility that your ultimatum won’t work, and that that person, which happens to be your loved man, may break up with you as a result. So there is a risk involved here.
If you are ready to take that chance, and you think it will work in your situation, than maybe that’s the appropriate thing for you to try in your relationship.