Everywhere I look, I see marriages crumbling around me. I even have friends that anticipate their next marriage failing before it even takes place. It saddens me that culture has found divorce to be the norm. Why is divorce an all too common thing these days? Is it because it is easier to give up than to try and make it work?
A successful marriage is not an easy one. It takes a lot of love, patience, and respect. If a person doesn’t have one of these qualities prior to marriage, they really need to find them. Two people make a marriage work. One can not hold the power, and the other be their doormat. As with anything, patience is a virtue. Mistakes will be made, but through time and patience they can also be eliminated. Well, maybe not completely eliminated, but fewer will occur. Love in itself is not enough to hold a marriage together. It plays a huge role in the success, but we enter into love blindly. That is why later when we can see clearly again, things don’t quite seem the same.
There are all sorts of reasons people get divorced. The main reason I hear is that one or both changed. Did they really change? I don’t believe so. I think that as time goes on those little irks and quirks have become more noticeable. When you enter into love, try to keep your eyes wide open. Instead of noticing little unpleasant behaviors after it becomes too late, take notice prior to jumping in too deep.
Can every marriage be saved? No, each holds it’s own set of circumstances. My suggestion is this, at least try. Both parties should first try to identify the problems. Do not talk to other people about your marital problems, but discuss them open mindedly with your spouse. You may be surprised what communication can do. Avoidance will get you nowhere. Giving up will get you nowhere. Obviously, nowhere is not where you want your marriage to end up.
I want to help others have the long, successful marriage that I have. I don’t want to be a minority because I am in one of the few long-time marriages left. It is a learning process, as with everything else. Sometimes all it takes is a little open-mindedness, and patience. The first step is making an honest attempt to work things out. Be creative and imaginative in your ideas to rekindle the flames!