I was a divorced father of one until I met my wife who had three children of her own. I had never entertained the thought of being with someone with more than one child. I was always concerned about my son getting lost in the shuffle of a big family after the difficulties of how to go on after a divorce, but have come to realize that was far from reality. I have watched him over the last year and a half develop strong relationships with his step siblings and step mom, reassuring me I have done the right thing.
Having four children around has made me appreciate family so much more. And now that we have added a fifth to the mix (my wife and I just had a beautiful, healthy boy and couldn’t be happier), I see us only getting closer. Each kid has already established a relationship with our newborn, giving our family the final piece to tie us together.
But getting to this big happy family after the struggles of how to go on after a divorce didn’t happen overnight. Looking back, there were a lot of activities that we did together that brought us closer together as a family unit. Most of them I didn’t even realize the benefits until now
Road Trip: Going on a road trip with the kids can be a blast. Don’t tell them where you are going and just surprise them. A consistent theme for us is the ocean because we all enjoy it. Nothing would be worse than dragging one of the children somewhere they completely detested, so having something to appease them all is helpful. The way I see it, nothing brought me closer to some college friends than a road trip, so why not my family? Oh, and because of the size of our family, our road trips usually entailed the second suggestion.
Camping: In my opinion, camping is one of the best ways to spend time with your family. Now that spring is finally here, there are opportunities every weekend to spend some quality time with the children out in the woods. Even if you can’t get away for the weekend, camping out in the back yard is just as good for the kids. Set the tent up, start a little fire for marshmallows and smores and enjoy each others time with out the electronic interruptions and distractions just for a little while.
Family Game Night: I wasn’t familiar with family game night until my new wife introduced me and my son to it when we first started integrating the family. Every Saturday night that we have all four older children together, we break out a board game and play for a trophy built by hand and sign when we win. We make sure we are all around to take part as it is a family event. We still play games when other children aren’t present. We just don’t play for the trophy in an attempt to make it special. Our children are 14, 11, 11 and 6, so their ages are perfect for this type of family event.
As my wife and I look back at how things have progressed since we have been a couple, we couldn’t be happier in the way my son and her three children have come together and have become one big family unit. There have been difficulties along the way, but having these times together have only made us stronger.