If you’re not careful, jealousy can gnaw away at your relationship to the extent that you actually part company with the other person. Which certainly isn’t how you intended things to work out and may not be in your best interest even now. Here are five ways of coping with jealousy that you can put into practice now and maybe save your relationship.
1. Stop denying things
If they’re left to fester, problems tend to get worse rather than better.
Sticking your head in the sand about the problem won’t help in the slightest. It’s more likely to make matters worse than anything else, even though the saying claims that time heals all wounds. Because what that saying normally means is that lots and lots of years are involved. Which is more like a feud than mere jealousy.
So take the bull by the horns and stop denying that there’s a problem. Which leads on to the next point:
2. Confront the situation
It could be that you have totally misinterpeted things – it wouldn’t be the first time in human history that this has happened and it certainly won’t be the last.
So take some time out to confront the issue that is making you jealous. Do this when you’re reasonably calm, rather than when you’re totally wound up about whatever it is that’s causing your jealousy.
And do it face to face. Emails and texts don’t have any form of intonation apart from the odd smiley, so they’re far too easy to misinterpet. Phone calls allow you to rant a lot easier than you would if the person is facing you. So pluck up the courage to confront the situation in person.
3. Put some effort in
It’s too easy to take things for granted if you’ve been in a relationship for a number of years.
Relive the honeymoon years and attitudes. Maybe even pretend that you’re a carefree teenager again.
So long as reconciliation is your preferred outcome, do whatever it takes to squash your jealousy. Sure, it takes some effort but it must have been worth it when you first started the relationship and hopefully it’s still worth it now.
4. Talk to someone
When our feelings are out in the open we tend to view them differently.
Talking to someone about your jealous feelings is a great way to do this.
Don’t hold back – often it’s the small niggles that appear part way through this kind of soul baring that are actually the most important. Not the huge blocks that you initially thought were the cause of your jealousy.
5. Release control
Let’s face it, you’re not in control of the situation anyway. Otherwise the jealous feelings would be a distant memory. So stop trying to control every smallest detail of your life – and the person you’re jealous of – and allow things to happen naturally.
You’ll probably get a feeling of relief when you relinquish trying to control a situation that’s out of your control in the first place.