You have had an epiphany; the friendship you grew accustomed to has depleted itself and worn thin, into nothing. Now what?
Now is the time to move forward in a healthy manner and focus on the positive relationships and events in your life. It will not necessarily be an easy task; but a task that needs to be done nonetheless.
I have a few tips on helping you to look ahead into the future while enjoying the moment. The aspects of your friendship are gone and although you may or may not have wanted the friendship to end, it has. If there is a chance of reconciliation then so be it; this article is intended more so for those of you who have to let go.
In order to focus on letting the friendship go you need to ensure you are mindful of your thoughts and feelings. There may be a lot of unfinished business associated to the ending of the friendship in your opinion or you may want to cling to the familiarity of the friendship and the good qualities your now ex-friend had. Remember that the sooner you can establish a new routine, the sooner you will be able to release the friendship. You will probably experience a wide range of emotions throughout this healing process. Allowing anger or even sadness to control your mind will not be beneficial for you or those people still involved in your life. The first tip I will offer is to accept that the friendship is over. This means recognizing the end of what was and not hanging on to what ifs. While accepting the friendship is over you may also want to take a moment and quietly wish your ex-friend the best. This wish will take away from negative thoughts and allow more closure for you. The second tip is to stay busy with positive activities and people. Focus on your needs and goals. Be appreciative of the friends you do have and ensure that you make self-care a priority. As you shift your attention to current events and away from the friendship you will most likely gain healing and perhaps a new perspective. It is okay to reflect back on the friendship in its totality and learn from it. The unhealthy behaviour of remunerating on what was said or not said is the potential for upset and moving backward. Stay mindful of your thoughts while allowing reflection and you will be okay.
The third tip I can offer is to refrain from discussing the details of what took place or gossiping with mutual friends of your now ex-friend. I recommend this tip because there will be someone who chooses to engage you in a conversation about what happened and how it impacts the group of friends. It is natural for your other friends to want to know the details, but will rehashing them make you feel better? This is a dangerous conversation to enter into as it cannot help you grow as an individual or move forward. Instead, it will create a toxic atmosphere and trigger a variety of memories and whether they are positive or negative does not matter because you will be spending valuable and precious time in your past, rather than in your present moment.
The fourth tip I will offer you is to write in your journal or diary. Take time to write positive things about your days and shift your focus to the people or things in life that you are grateful for. This is healing in itself because you are centred on positive events and people and staying away from negativity. I would encourage you to use your energy for good not bad. If you feel that journaling is not for you and you are not comfortable writing then say it aloud.
There is much power in positive self-talk.
If you are still struggling to let go of the friendship after following these four tips, then I would encourage you to see a counsellor or talk to someone who can help you truly move forward. The less time you spend wondering why your friendship is over, the more time you can spend on developing a healthier you. In time, you will realize that every end becomes a new beginning. Take the time that you need to work through this loss and stay focused on being a good friend to yourself.
Living your best life possible entails learning how to work through life’s challenges. Believe in yourself and remember that it takes time and energy to overcome obstacles and the end of a friendship is no exception.