A guy I know, 80 yrs old plus, already slightly bent with age, and almost bony, frequents the same coffee shop I go to regularly. Whereas I go alone, he is always with his girlfriend, a woman only slightly younger than he.
One day, while watching them, I quipped to a coffee buddy, “What could sex be like for people that old?”
Then I was reminded of another senior who said, “When I was young, I was awake all evening until the wee hours of the morning. Now I am awake every hour in the evening to wee until morning.”
From my perspective, at 64, I can’t possibly conceive how and what sex is like among people in the 80s. Do they still make out? What could be their typical foreplay? Can they make the distance or do they take a nap at regular intervals?
I will be like them one day and I thought it good to know what it will be then. So I consulted the “experts” and this is what they say::
What the scientists say::
A survey of married men and women, between ages 66 to 64, showed that 87{0d344128b9dc3e1b34e90cc80856d1b8d47f216c439c96543b7bb0e9f3734051} of the men and 89{0d344128b9dc3e1b34e90cc80856d1b8d47f216c439c96543b7bb0e9f3734051} of the women are still sexually active. By age 80, only 29{0d344128b9dc3e1b34e90cc80856d1b8d47f216c439c96543b7bb0e9f3734051} of the men and 25{0d344128b9dc3e1b34e90cc80856d1b8d47f216c439c96543b7bb0e9f3734051} of the women are.
According to Dr. David Kaufman, M.D., “There is no physiologic or anatomic reason why an elderly who takes care of himself and is not having medical problems cannot have a very fulfilling and active sex life.”
That they “can” is a medical fact. But “how?” is a matter of conjecture.
George Burns, the most lovable of seniors, nay have the answer when he said that sex among the elderly “Is like shooting pool with a rope.”
It’s hard to tell if that was just one of his famous punch lines or a personal experience.
Health benefits of sex:
Sex is good for everybody – intellectually, physically and spiritually. Studies show that men in their senior years and who can have more than two orgasms per week have lower mortality rates.
Nope, it doesn’t connect sex and longevity. It does show that sex is good for the body. Sex is exercise and seniors who can indulge in it regularly are not only healthier, physically, they are also happier..
Who wouldn’t? Anybody who has ran the marathon knows how great it is to make it to the finish line, no matter how long it took.
Sex strategies for the seniors:
The elderly gentleman mentioned previously looks frail. But he can still move briskly and there is a sparkle in his eyes. Could he have the same sparkle in his libido? It is hard to tell.
What is certain is that aging imposes on the body certain limitations which, if exceeded, can do untold and permanent damage to both mind and body.
To avoid such traumatic experiences, doctors suggest the following strategies:
– Eat slow::
The French love to say “a good dinner should not be rushed.”
You are no longer the raging bull that you were. You are now a sloth slowly inching its way up a tree. The purpose is to complete the journey, not to get there first. You have had that many times in your younger days.
Now it is time to enjoy life’s little pleasures, slowly and intimately – sparse they may be.
Take your time; do more foreplay. Communicate and share your exciting feelings with your partner;
– Use your senses:
Gone are the days when sex was lust. Now it is a feast, to be savored by all your senses of touch, smell, hearing, and taste. Play some good music, soft lights, candles, good wine, exciting food to nibble with your partner.
For women, vaginal lubrication may be a part of the routine to avoid irritation or painful intercourse and erectile dysfunction pills for men.
In both cases, prior consultation with a physician is necessary to be on the safe side.
– Exercise patience:
Getting seniors sexually excited and stimulated is like coaxing a deaf-mute to audition in the American Idol.
It takes time, patience and ingenuity. It needs the right atmosphere and mindset for people in their senior years to be ignited into a torch of sexual passion.
But it can be done and it must. There is no pleasure as pleasurable as a good sex.
It is beyond words.
My coffee buddies, except for one or two, are well past the age of 60. We are elderly, but not entirely seniors. People at this age bracket generally talk of three things: business, politics and sex. We can get by without the two, but no day passes without sex taking the huge chunk of our conversation pie.
Why people are so engrossed with sex is probably a matter of genetics. We are wired for it. Thus, it will be with us until that wire is cut.